Life Is Funny… And Then It Gets Better


I’m speaking post being at a week long retreat where I spent the majority of the time around 9 beautiful “young adolescent” teens and some adults.  While all in all, it was a GREAT week!  It didn’t start out that way.

It was odd.  Now, while I knew it would be “different” as I was told it would be unlike anything I had ever done before (which is true of everything I do from this point forward in my life…)  I didn’t know what “they” were talking about.  I found out.

Odd?  What do I mean by that?  Well, there were instructions (so to speak) yet, so much of the information given seemed also to be relatively optional…  This was a first.  Do (as in bring) what feels “right” to you and don’t what doesn’t was pretty much the message though I received though there were a few things that stood out to me as seemed mandatory.  (Was that simply my energetic read?)

The first few days I wanted to tear my hair out and scream or maybe walk away.  Why was there so much confusion and seemingly unnecessary time spent doing piddly (though necessary) things that in my mind would have already been done or decided?  Can’t we just do what needs to be done (knowing upfront) so that “we” can go outside in the beautiful environment and enjoy ourselves?  After all, kids will be arriving and our time will be spoken why are we not already more prepared to receive them?  So much time futsing on what could already have been done?  I was told that “process” over “product” was where the emphasis was being placed.  What kind of process believes in holding back “what other people determine to be unnecessary information that you wouldn’t run an even of this nature without?

Why have suck lack of order and clarity purposely built into the program?  It made no sense to me.  (And, while I still wouldn’t run an event “purposely” this way.  It was perfect for my newest birthing of myself.)

Anyway, the week went on and I observed more things that made no sense to me.  I rolled with it though not without asking my questions and seeking the answers to the questions that were relevant to me.  Efficiency, order and what I deem to be clear communication are important to me not to mention “safety” which the event fully supported yet in what to me was “an odd way”.  Feeling well prepared for my guest and having what feels like the tools at my disposal to do as is my place to do are important to me.  .

Some of the answers I received were unsatisfactory to me and still make no sense to me while other parts and pieces have become more clear.  All in all, it was a great way and place for me to grow in a fashion that I KNOW I made a difference (in a good way) in the lives of those around me.

I was always willing and open to rolling with it and I did until I decided what I would no longer roll with.

Day 3 or 4 of 7 came along and I changed my tune.  I would be the one to decide which so called, “rules” I would and wouldn’t break.  Be respectful yes, though no longer would I allow another to override me because they believe they know what is best when my heart and being is crying out for something different.

I asked myself a few questions and realized that “this” was exactly the kind of energy that played out in my family of origin.  I didn’t like it then, I don’t like it now and NOW, I’m ready to avow to myself that I’m done.

I’m done allowing others to cause me to believe that they know better for me than I know best for myself.   I realized that I had internal information that “they” were not privy to and as such, I was the only one who could answer for (and to) the truth that spoke within me, my heart and cellular being.

The rest of my week went “Peachy”!  Yes, it was tiring as the days ran into the nights which felt like three days in one.  I still haven’t napped, showered or finished unpacking because  I couldn’t wait to share my joy!

Joy to YOU!

Yes, the frustration, irritation and plain annoyance was worth the change I now experience!  Thank God, Universe and SELF!  And, all the people who played their parts so beautifully in my re-orienting as to who I am.

Should I be on the red carpet, I would thank Joyce, Chris, Ginger, Steve, Mark, Kayla, Sophie, Britney, Chris, Ryan, Nick, Allie, Taylor, Asia, Jessica, Ellie and many more as we are all connected in THE ONE.


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Sometimes Clarity Comes Through Being “Whacky”

Being inspired to do something bold and daring that ordinarily I would not have allowed myself to act upon the impulse of, I took a chance.  I did something that before this morning, I never would have allowed myself!  The very idea would have caused me to think poorly of myself or another who might do the same thing.  Not this morning.  I knew in an instant what I would do and why I would do it.  And then I did it!

I didn’t stop to count the cost or worry what may come of it.  I knew me and my why and that’s all I needed.  (Fortunately,  I was trusting the other person to know themselves as well and I dove in.)  As a result, I feel great!   I feel frisky, playful and invigorated.  My outcome was not dramatic or painful in the least.  What a miracle!  I was not beat up, hushed up, made fun of or belittled and, I live to tell the tale…

Could it have had something to do with the movie I watched last night on Netflix?  A Secret Affair…

There is no apparent outward evidence as to the treasure I received for how do you measure a sense of support that comes from deep knowing?  This is part of the mystery and joy.  I gave myself 100% permission to be with what I was and I allowed the same for the person I chose to have my fun with.  I have been laughing  all day because of the pleasantness of the energy exchange between us.  Formerly, this type of action could have been ugly.  Not today.  It was powerful.  I was powerful!  I was knowing my value!  And, the value of my offer.

I was clean and clear as to who I am and what it is I truly seek.  I was clear (within myself) as to the value of my motive.  I didn’t care about the results.  Only that I shared freely what I was inspired to offer without any charge around the results one way or the other.  This is a feeling I have known well in the  conception of my children.  (Big hint here for anyone looking to conceive.)  Though a child is not what I was seeking to know though something of equal value to me.

I got to thinking as to how this could be when my actions by some may have been considered to be that of an asshole by one who is prim and proper.  I already knew that proprieties had nothing to do with it.  I was looking for the answer as to a state of heart.  I found it.  This is always priceless to me because on this I can bank time and time again.

What else do we have to bank on when managing the maneuvers and navigations of our lives?  I know that my answer today is guiding my next step and how thankful I am to make that step sure-footedly because now I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, how to apply it.

That way, no matter how difficult my next step may be.  I am ready.  I have 100% clarity that I know how to apply because I knew my question going in.  Now, I know to do with it.

I am on the cusp of major life changes and how better to make them than with clarity?  I like to be prepared.  I gave myself permission to play full out even to playing the part of the fool.  I was open and honest and I allowed the other to be the same.  In that, you always win.  This what I call the win/win.  I wasn’t looking to be validated, affirmed, honored or agreed with.  (I was already dong these things for myself.)

I simply offered an open reflection of myself and allowed a true response to occur.  (There was no feedback or commentary running in the background from either of us.  I love this type of clarity!)

Inwardly, I already knew that I was okay with the results whatever they would be.   Somehow, I also knew that should I not follow through with this inspiration, tomorrow I would wish I had.

I felt completely supported from within!  I had a new encounter with someone who previously the same type of interaction would probably have been a blow up.  Trusting that I was being guided by the Universe, as opposed to being something less, I boldly ventured ahead.  I followed my “whacky” though playful inspiration and I am allowing it to lead me where it will.   (Maybe one day, I’ll spill the  beans…)

So what changed to allow for this new outcome and experience?  Me, simple though not easy.  I recently had a new infusion of self worth pour into me.  What was odd was that I had an awareness that “some” or even this person could  view me as being an asshole.  I wasn’t.  I was coming from the heart.

I was being honest and clear.  And like I said, I wasn’t seeking approval or permission.  I just allowed myself to be known if even only to myself.

What whacky thing have you ever done that turned out alright?  Are you willing to allow (anyone other than yourself) to think you are an asshole should it be a true expression of the desire of your heart?  Comment below and stay tuned as I compare and contrast the energies between being an asshole who is rich or nice guy who is dirt poor.

Coach Brenda



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Playing the Lottery

Recently, I decided to make a game out of playing the lottery.

I decided to start engaging the merchants in conversation.  I ask them something along the lines of, “If it were in your power to do so, would you be willing to sell me a winning lottery ticket?

The results have been interesting…

The first shop keeper never could say, “Yes” she would be willing.  I left.  (Everything was “we” and “they”.)

I went to another store to play the same game and immediately, I did an about face.  Nothing felt right.  I walked in and everyone’s body language seemed cold, closed and distant.  I could see three people and no one acknowledged my presence.  Not a single pause.  I left.  (As I did I imagined what anyone viewing may have thought.  No, I was not just about to hold the place up at finger point…)

Today, I played again.  This time with a shop keeper who was already familiar.  I had purchased tickets from him before.  He even told me he would give me a ride to Salem should I win.

Today, everything seemed to line up right from the start.  As I was entering the store a gentleman  held the door open for me.  (Thank you!  Much appreciated!)  I got right in line and waited my turn when out of no where a lady in high heels suddenly came clanking up to purchase her ice cream and cigarettes.  Seemingly from out of no where.  No one even heard her coming until she was suddenly there.  (It was a small store.)  This didn’t bother me at all.  It was apparent that she was in a hurry and from her approach, there didn’t seem to be a line.

The shop keeper and the lady acknowledged me and I told her to go ahead.  I had no intention of slowing her down.  She had a rhythm going.  I asked the man behind me (who had opened the door) if he was in a hurry and wanted to go next?  He said, “No, he is in no hurry.”

So, I stepped up to the shop keeper and said, “Well, you probably know why I am here…  (I could tell  he only knew about 98%)  I said, “I’m here to play the lottery.  May I ask you a question?  He said, “You can ask me two!”  I said, “GREAT!”  If it were in your power to sale me a winning lottery ticket, would you be willing?”  He said, “Yes!  I’ll even give you the ride to Salem!”  I said,  “AWESOME!”  Which ticket then?

He said, “Well, I’d stick to the Oregon Lottery game as the odds are better.  I said, “Great!”  I’ll take one!  And then, I said to him, “You don’t know how hard it is to get people to say that.”  He said, “Say what?”  I said, “To get people to say, “YES” they would be willing to sale me a winning lottery ticket.”  He said, “hmm”

Anyway, we all smiled and the man behind me wished me good luck!  On my way out of the store, another gentleman held the door open for me again!  I was beaming!  I felt like a million bucks!

What makes you feel like a million bucks?  Share with me in the comments section below.

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Making A Difference

Have you ever been out shopping and found yourself being presented with an opportunity to make a difference as to the outcome you saw brewing?   What do I mean by this?  Here’s an example.

You are standing in a line and you can see that the cashier is getting seemingly frustrated and irritated and she keeps glancing at a child in line behind you with whom you assume to be their mother.  As you approach (to make your purchase) the cashier makes an off handed remark aimed at the child yet, directed to you about how offensive the child is.

You yourself, were not offended (by the child or the cashier).   You simply saw two people expressing themselves.  You may have found it odd because that never really happened to you before.  (Or maybe it has and you never knew what to do about it.)

Here’s what I did.  I accentuated what I assumed to be the positive.  And, it worked!

I simply commented, aren’t you glad she’s not going home with you….

The cashier immediately put a smile upon her face and seemed more than happy to ring up the mother’s purchase and send her and the child on their way.

All in a day’s work.

What opportunities in the form of challenges present themselves to you daily?   How do you avail yourself of them?  What results do you get?



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The Journey, Part 3 (end)

I offered my car.  If they were planning to hurt me or hustle my  car, they would have done it by now. We had already decided to make the last hour of our journey together in the morning that is, should they still be there when I was ready to go.  It felt a bit odd, as in a “new” experience having two men and two dogs sleep in my car with me snuggled in bed but I knew I was doing what I could without sending myself into a “panic zone”.    Yes, I took my keys.  Yes, they could still lock and unlock the doors as needed (as could I).

I thought about offering them the use of the bathroom in the morning but, I figured that they had their ways.  There was a gas station near by.  This too, was part of me learning to “not” be overly responsible for people.  They could also have asked.  They didn’t.

In the morning, we headed out for the final hour of our journey which would cause us to part ways.  It felt odd because suddenly, it was over as swiftly as it had begun!  We hugged and wished each other well.  It seemed as though we could have exchanged phone numbers yet, we all knew that wasn’t necessary.    We were uplifted!

My point is this.  No one knows your internal dialog better than you.  Trust it and continue it out loud when necessary.  Act as you need to and can still feel good about from within.  Being adventurous, having faith and trust doesn’t mean being careless.  It means being mindful.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Just know what and who you are trusting in.  And, ALWAYS be respectful of yourself first!  Others come second.  Pay attention to  your inner voice.  The guidance of your wisdom.  Ask as many questions as you want to.  Respond as is authentic for you.  Especially, in regards to the possible answer of your own prayer.  Not using the word God doesn’t make it any less a prayer…

Share with me an event in your life that caused you to know the power of your intention!

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The Journey, Part 2

Okay, so about reading the energy.  It’s about being in the moment and engaged with your awareness.  Knowing yourself.   (Should they have not had their dogs, I more than likely would not have gone for it.  I myself was a dog owner.)  In my eyes, the dogs were representing the relationship these two men had with each other and would be extended to me.  They were extremely docile and they never barked once.  My car smelled a bit from the experience though this only allowed me to be grateful that I have full access to a washer, dryer, clothes and a shower.

We engaged in lively conversation.  I learned all kinds of interesting things about this man who now opted for living wherever life took him.  They seemed to get around.  (The younger man remained mostly quiet.  I think he was just happy to have a ride.)  At one time, the more experienced (free traveling) man had his own business that did well until he decided that his freedom (to be the kind of American he believed himself to be) was more important than complying with governmental standards for vehicular regulations for driving.   He was stubborn but, only about what really mattered to him.  His freedom.

He was a capable pain of hands to dial my cell phone for me and make sandwiches.  I had a standing  phone call to listen in to and I was wondering how I would dial and input all of the numbers going 70 mph down the road.  God provided.  We lost signal but the topic sent our conversation into open gear!  It was truly lively and engaging!  (Just as I wanted!)

They both had manners and were respectful and courteous and even as awkward as me when it came to being vulnerable in ways that I in particular do not usually engage in.  We were each doing our best to be unassuming and mindful of the other while clearly staying within the guidelines of our boundaries.  He gave me a necklace that he made.  (Something he does for money as he goes.)

At 1:00am and in need of sleep, I pulled into a very affordable motel.  No, I did not share my room nor get them one.  They had some money though I have no idea how much.  I figured it was up to them to choose how to spend their money just as I allowed myself the same freedom.  That was part of my agreement with God.  Yes, God, I can give these men a ride though should I be asked for money, it’s a NO GO.

Me spending my money on them was not part of my deal and never did they ask me for any.  I was surprised that being homeless, they were just as uncomfortable with this transition as was I.  (I figured they were used to it sleeping in new places frequently.  Apparently, not like this.)  Their first concern was for the police in the area.  What were they like?  Second, they had no friends in the area.  This was news to me.  I didn’t know homeless (or traveling people) were so connected.  Being on the move has it’s own skill sets of which I knew not.


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How Giving Two Homeless Men and Their Dogs a Ride Got Me Safely to My Destination (The Journey, Part 1)

Have you ever been too tired to drive and yet, you knew you had to?  If you were home you would  lay down for a nap and postpone your drive only you can’t.  You have the time.  Not the energy.  That’s exactly how I felt one hour into my twelve hour drive…

I was asking myself how I was going to stay awake?  I brought my usual CD’s and inspirational workshop on CD yet, I needed a different kind of stimulation.  I wanted a friend to talk to.  I pulled over at a rest stop to refresh myself and wouldn’t you know it, a homeless man approached me.  I thought he was going to ask me for money and I was going to say, “No.”

Instead, I was asked for a ride.  Not just for him but for his younger friend who was sitting by the bathroom wall holding two leashes.  They each had a dog.  I pondered my recent conversation with myself (God, that’s who I speak to.)  And I reasoned that the two dogs were well behaved and getting along, they must not be “attack dogs”.  I inquired if this was God providing me my “how” (to arrive to my destination and still be alive!)  What a sense of humor God does have!   Thinking that others would call me “stupid” and not caring, I asked the man, “How do I know you’re not going to hurt me or something?”  (I figured that my conversation was really with God anyway and so, I would be stupid to NOT ask.)  The man replied, “I’ll give you $10 gas money and buy you dinner.”  And I thought wow, a homeless person at a rest stop offering to give me money!  That’s a first!  (Okay, God, this must be you!)

And so, we drove on down the road.  I asked them where they were headed and they said oh, you only need to get us to the next rest stop if you can.  I said well wouldn’t it be easier if I knew where you were going because I know where I’m going?  And he said, well, we’re headed to San Francisco.  I said, great, I’m going to Petaluma and that’ almost there.  I spread my dog blankets and we all get in and headed off.  I was much refreshed and on my toes!

I marveled at how God had answered my prayer!  Who’d have thought!  We engaged in lively conversation and had a bountiful healthy dinner a la Safeway and his food stamps!  He was as generous with me as he was with his friend and dogs.  We each got two Vitamin Waters and sandwiches made of hummus, spinach and pita bread and more!  He was mindful and respectful carrying through with his word as he had spoken.

Why, why would I do this?  It’s called reading the energy.  That’s what I did.  Stay tuned for more about the journey…



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The 2012 Olympic Games & YOU

Summer 2012 Olympics and the buzz is in the air.  Do you have it?  How would you know?  You find yourself glued like maybe only 4 years before.  You can’t seem to help yourself, something within you (The Call of … Continue reading

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Three Way Split for the Winning Lottery Holders? What?

Selfish?  You Decide.

Call me selfish, I don’t care!   Could you imagine being a lottery holder and having the winning numbers and jumping up and down at the thought of having won $640,000,000…   Well, I would be over the top with JOY and ELATION!!!  And YES, I will admit that I would also be disappointed when I discovered that two other people also won the same money and now we had to split it.  I’m sure my disappointment would subside but, I don’t believe the dreams I envisioned would ever leave me.  I would still have about $1,000,000 (after taxes) but, do you know how fast I can spend $1,000,000?   Pretty damned fast!

Oversimplification/Returning to the More “Familiar”

Okay, so, I spoke to my sister, who is good with money and numbers AND she helped  me to see how quickly and easily, I deduce large numbers in my head, to much smaller numbers inadvertently, subconscious even, post taxes (at least 40% which I round up to 50% which allows me to “feel” better when I receive a large than 50% portion.  Divide that number by 3 and  as you see, I went from $640,000,000 to $320,000,000 to being about $1,000,000.  Clearly, I lost some zeros.  Certainly, the lottery winners will probably net around $100,000,000.

Hopefully, even this is too conservative a number yet, WHAT A NUMBER!  That’s an amount that I could be ecstatic about and Thank God, with all of the media hype and people participating to have a financial “dream” possibly become true!  My clearly faulty figure of $1,000,000 is plain and clear to see yet, it took me some doing to get there.  This explains that flat, empty feeling of let down that I had for the lottery winners and confirmed, for me, once again, that I tend to over estimate taxes (imagine that) and simplify an enormous number to a more familiar number where $100,000,000 quickly became $1,000,000.)  How do your chronic thought patterns or habits of thought become skewed should they be compared to mathematical equations?

Money Well Spent or Shall I Say, “Invested”!

I have six children five still to complete college.  Six are daughters and I imagine there will be weddings.  I have always wanted to take my entire family (my whole family, extended, (ex) in-laws and all) to an all inclusive tropical paradise vacation!  Do you have any idea how expensive it is to travel with an immediate family of 8, coming from a family of 8, and one of my brothers having 7 children and of course, the significant others of each who has one?

Well, after paying off my home and buying a few cars for my children and vacationing, I just don’t think $1,000,000 win will cover my list of expenses or shall I say, dreams?   What about opening the Wellness Center I have recently come to dream of and furnishing my dream home that I don’t even live in yet (that probably exists in Kauai or maybe Bali).  Yet, this dream home would be a 2nd home because I would also want to have a contiguous United States home on the west coast, hmmm, which state?   California (which I love) or Oregon (where “I” currently live)?  And of course, this home would need to be furnished according to a fashion that reflects my ideas of beauty.  I guess my tastes are expensive!  (Or I have no idea of the value of a dollar.)

It’s a good thing I didn’t win this mega million jackpot!  I’m far too selfish.  I really would have wanted the money all to myself to put my dreams in motion starting with airline tickets for family members to attend my oldest daughters upcoming graduation in May.  I would have so much FUN buying cars for my children, new wardrobes and setting college and wedding funds into motion not to mentions housing funds.  I would want to spend “my money” on my family, however I wanted to contribute to their dreams coming true!   Can you imagine how FUN it would be to already have money in your bank account to “play” hostess to  such dreams!

I know that one of mine would also include a home for my mother by the sea.  She has always wanted to live by the ocean.  She lives in the desert and has a plenty of sand, she just needs the water with all its wonder to complete her majestical life experience!  At least, that is a dream that she has often spoken of, that I would like to afford her.

Yes!  I would consult experts and probably start a college fund for people coming from households of six or more children.  Did you know that families with more than (I think it’s four children) are subjected to Alternative Minimum Tax which increases their taxes?  Makes no sense to me.  Does it to you?

I guess for me to have been a winner of “this jackpot”, would  have felt a little like still having to choose between having it all and deciding what you want most, something like being proposed to and then finding out that your wedding is pre-planned as is the honeymoon and it will televised as a joint adventure with other couples but, not to worry, because your parting gifts will be a “free” honeymoon and a new, furnished home, his and her cars and the beginnings of a college fund for our first born.   That would actually be pretty cool (so long as I had say in the decision making processes)!  Only thing is, I’m no longer a teenager or young adult with starry eyed dreams willing to allow others to tell me how it will be.

Yes, We Grow and As We Do, Which Habits of Thinking Grown With Us?  Which Are So Familiar That It Doesn’t Even Occur to Us to Challenge Them?

I’ve been around the block, so to speak, and there are some blocks that I enjoy walking in more than others.  I’m middling in my age and I have flipped and flopped my support structures and belief systems and I’m ready to be more vocal and discerning about my beliefs, desires, opinions and options in life.  I’m now divorced (a bold, daring and risky decision for me according to some maybe…) yet, what’s riskier?  Believing in a God who loves you unconditionally beyond the error of your worst way (whatever that may be) or believing in a God that condemns, damns and judges you and others into hell for eternity without the possibility of relief for basically, not being HIM?

As much as I have grown and changed over the years, it simply “feels” more like becoming more me.  When I look back at how fearful I was of God and what other people thought about me, life, death and living, I’ve come a long way!   And, as part of my reckoning, I’m proud to say, that when I win my winning jackpot lottery or millions in a windfall of money coming to me, I will proudly stand upon my podium saying, “THANK YOU GOD for LOVING ME AS ME!”  I finally, know you DO AND I Love You, too!  I used to question greatly YOUR LOVE for me.  While I’m still curious about YOU, I no longer question you actually loving me.  You always were aligning me to my dreams coming true and NOW, I boldly say, “YES” and “Thank you!”  How I so appreciate you always showing up prepared with whipped cream, nuts and cherry on top!  YES, I WANT IT ALL and I no longer fear that “having it all” will corrupt me and my ability to love you or anyone else!

Easter, A Time of New Birthing…  A Season of Spring

This Easter Season has been a “win” for me.  I’ve made my peace with God about my past and of my “fearful ideas” of what it means to be loved by God and what it means to love HIM best and give Him, the glory.  Thanks to an acquaintance/friend of mine in my Bible study group who finally helped me clarify one of the Bible verses that I feared most, John 12:20-26 means:

Some Greeks who had come to worship at the Passover Feast came to Philip, who was    from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, “Sir, we would like to see Jesus.”  Philip went and told Andrew, then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus.  Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.  Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.  Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in the world will preserve it for eternal life.  Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me.”

My  “lottery win”, has been laying to rest my “fearful and very “not” good “feelings” about God and His love for me.  I was terrified of winning and of receiving any kind of glory that elevated me above another in a way that I thought someone might be envious of.  I was terrified to love my life (or another fully) and live as though heaven were upon the earth for fear that this would rival my love for God and that I was forfeiting my eternal salvation along with those I loved.  Would I like to have won the “jackpot” millions as proof positive of this transformation that has taken place within me?  Hell, YES!  That would be “A” okay with me!

Already Being The Winner

Am I upset about not winning this mega millions all time record high win?  No, because I have already won!  What price can be placed upon a heart that rests in peace that was tortured and in agony about a God who does not really love though you must accept what it is, as though it were love?  Have I learned something “new” about myself and my “idea” of winning?  YES!

I”ve learned that beneath it all, I’m still very much the same.  I’m just more open about my conviction that we are all here with equal access to living heaven as though it is here upon the earth.  God does not play favorites, positively or negatively as I was led to believe.  He is fair and just.  He is not vengeful or vindictive (unless you are) then you will perceive or experience a God who also is.

Maybe I have also discovered that I desire to be the solitary winner of what for me, would equate to being Olympic Gold!  I want my win to be more personal and equally phenomenal as being the single largest recipient of such a large jackpot win!  That would be my preference as to sharing such a BIG pot with multiple winners because I already am planning on sharing it anyway.  Yes, we are each winners yet, now that I am no longer afraid to stand in the Light of BEING a “winner”.  I want the stage to myself to share with whomever I choose.

I want to bask in the glow and warmth of my newly found LOVE for God, like that of a lover, who loves me right back!  I’m a ONE and ONLY kind of girl.  Always have been and I can’t imagine that ever changing about me, it would take an act of God.  Yet, isn’t this exactly how God loves each one of us??!!!  As though we are each a one and only intimate lover blessed to live within a family or sea of love?  I think so.  I’ve always “felt” this way and wanted to believe that it was true.  I can’t imagine not being this way.  It’s simply part of who I am, how I love and what I, cherish and appreciate!  Now that for me, is something to be affectionate about…

If this makes me selfish, selfish, I AM, so be it.

What has transpired in or out of your awareness during this Easter Season or Lottery Event?






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Winning Millions and the “Idea of BEING such a winner”

Have you ever thought about what it would be like and what it would mean to you to actually win or receive millions of dollars through a simple action like buying or even being “gifted” a lottery ticket?

How “real” or imaginable is the very “idea” of receiving millions of dollars into your life?  What would it mean to you?  If winning could be symbolic of or proof as something being true for you in your life, what would it be symbolic of?  Because the upcoming amount, will, to date, be the largest “win” ever, can you imagine being, the recipient?  What would receiving such a sum of money mean to you?  Have you ever thought of yourself, those you love or your family and dreams as being “worthy” and valid of receiving financial support in this way?  Why or why not?

If winning this up coming mega millions lottery drawing (or any other large sum of money) in your life, accentuated and accelerated what you already hold in your heart, to be true for you, how open to receiving this windfall of money are you?

What would remain the same?  What would fall away?  Imagine winning.  What “feelings” thoughts, or concerns are aroused within you?  Do any of these “feelings” or thoughts surprise you or seem curious?  If so, how?  Does the “idea” of winning seem like the natural next step in your life or a natural progression of your financial experiences?

Does the “idea” of winning or having more money (an unusually large amount of money at once) increase your sense of well-being or throw you into a tizzy?  Do you imagine having an increased sense of well-being, freedom, fun and spontaneity?   Or would you experience something different?  What “feelings” thoughts, or concerns does the “idea” of receiving such a windfall of money into your life cause you to “play” host or hostess to?

Is receiving a windfall of money part of your dreams coming true?  What would a dream come true, be for you?  Which of these dreams require financial backing?  Which do not?

There are many thoughts and attitudes about wealth, finances, freedom, love and God out there.  Many of them contradictory.  Some people believe that the money or the “love” of money is the root of all evil and a path to hell, while for others their heaven on earth would not be complete without an abundance of it…   What are your thoughts and “feelings” on the subject?  What if the only thoughts and “feelings” that matter, are your own…

What are your thoughts, experiences and emotional over and under tones about your own personal financial experiences?    What are your definitions of freedom, love and God?  What “ideas” and attitudes do you hold toward lottery winners?  Are they a “classification” of people whom you would be proud and honored to belong and have your name spoken of as one?

Have you ever “felt” like a million bucks?  If so, when and where?  What was going on in your life at the time?  What if winning the lottery, were nothing less, nothing more and everything as sacred as, falling in love….  Maybe falling in love, isn’t sacred to you, what is?  Is there room in your “idea” of sacred, to allow for you, the experience of being one of the biggest lottery winners in the history of the lottery, to date?  Why or why not?

Have you bought your ticket?  Why?  or why not?




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